Saturday, April 30, 2011

Confessions of the Ashen One

Hello again friends
I apologize for my rather sudden withdrawal.
Thinking about the incident, left me rather perturbed.

Before I absconded from this diary, I left my story in a precarious lurch, so if it pleases you, let me return to this moment.

A shuddering pain flooded my brain, filled with screeching, unintelligible language at a decibel as magnificent as jet turbines.  I was floored, near motionless, and without any avenue of escape truly.  My walker had clattered to the ground beside me, yet standing would prove to be a great chore, bedazzled and injured as I was.  It made no move to attack, nor did it speak again to me.  I realized that if it did mean harm, it would have done so.  Or rather, I had hoped as much.  I struggled to sit up, to speak further.    "My demise, you are here to kill me?"  I braced for the mental anguish which followed, when it finally replied.  "IT IS A NECESSARY ACTION.   THE FLAWS MUST BE REMOVED."  Pain shot through me again, I felt as if my brain bled with each statement, yet I could not stop, I had to continue. 

For sake of expediency, I will simply write out said 'conversation' without hyperbole or dramatic tension, as the assault remains on my mind as it is.

"Flaws...You wish to kill me because I cannot walk now?"
"Decree.  You speak in riddles.  Why have you not slain me then?"
"Then when?"

On that note, he left.  I lay in the sod, grass stains upon my clothes, bewildered, and sprawled out upon the lawn.  From then, I gathered myself, stared at a tumbled pizza box that managed to land cheese down, and then sobbed from the experience.

I do not like this, I sought to confront it, and yet I find myself with more questions than before, ever with the tension that at any moment it will return, when it is fated.

I do not believe in fate, I cannot believe in it.  Fate.

I am at a loss.  I turn to you, noble reader.  What can I do?  Please, if you will it, contact me.

Until fate descends
Call Me Nil.